- 28
- February
2013
How to make divorce, custody easier on your children
As many divorced California parents know, every child reacts differently to their parents’ divorce. While some find ways to be resilient, others struggle to adjust to a new way of life. Regardless of their initial reaction, however, kids should be able to maintain strong relationships with both of their parents after a divorce. As a parent, there are a few things you can do to make sure this happens.
One of the most important things you can do is keep your children out of any conflict you may have with your ex. Since you decided to get a divorce, it’s likely that some tension exists, but letting your kids in on that is not a good idea, and a recent Huffington Post article explains why.
So, you can’t stand your ex. He does something that drives you crazy, or she makes you want to rip your hair out. Talk about it all you want to your friends, but do not bring it up around your children. They deserve to have good relationships with both of their parents, and by trash talking your ex, you might make them feel guilty for spending time with him or her.
Even if you really don’t like your ex, you are still parents together and will always have that connection. Because of this, it’s extremely important that you communicate well with one another and that you do it directly – not through your kids. The two of you set the rules and the schedules, not your children. Going through your kids risks miscommunication or some uncomfortable moments.
Finally, keep any discussion about money between you and your ex. If your ex is past-due on child support, don’t tell your kids. They don’t need to start worrying about your finances – and there’s a reason we have a family court system. If you’re not getting the money you agreed upon, take it to court.
Of course, these are only a few of the ways you can help your kids ease into life with divorced parents. Hopefully they provide a starting point for some parents.
Source: Huffington Post, "Keeping Kids Out Of The Middle," Elizabeth Denham, Feb. 22, 2013